I haven't written a blog post in a long time. My goal was to write regularly and share with you our life as home schoolers in our little home on Clarkson Drive. I've fallen very short of my personal goal. Which makes me feel guilty. I'm a mother, I don't need more to feel guilty about. So, please bear with me while I try to sort this out.
I think it takes a certain amount of ego to blog. You have to believe that you have something to share that other people will want to read. Whether you believe you are entertaining or that you can educate someone, some how if you blog you feel your thoughts are important enough to deserve other people's time and attention.
Now, don't get me wrong. I follow several blogs and I DO feel the authors deserve my time and attention. I've laughed, been deeply moved, become smarter and even a better person for the things others have taken the time to share in their blogs. I feel the blogs I regularly read are worth my time and I visit new blogs nearly daily. I love really do love sharing in people's worlds, even for a moment.
When it comes to MY blog I worry about every step. I wonder if what I am thinking is complete enough to share, if other people will relate to it or if it will set me apart, if I can do the topic justice, if my editing will be complete enough or if I will reveal myself as a flawed teacher when I already feel scrutinized as a home schooling mother. I wonder if anyone will read my blog at all and I would be wounded if no one did, even if I try to tell myself I write for myself.
On a good day I can tell you that what I'm doing is pretty good. Sometimes even genius, for a moment. I am planning my kids daily lessons, teaching them and they are learning. We have fun. We go places. We make things. They are really, really, scary, smart kids. Most days we have tough moments and I know that other families do too. And like everyone else we learn from it. We grow. We also scream and cry and give up for a few hours. I think sharing that reality is important too.
My day to day life doesn't typically seem very remarkable to me. I don't usually believe I'm blog worthy. But maybe I need to give myself some credit, allow myself some more pride. I'm raising real people over here. People who will lead and shape the world, in some small way at least. And I realized today that I would love to get more infomration about how my friends go about their daily lives, I'd read their blogs. So, I'm going to try really hard to stop doubting myself and put myself out there- for better or worse.
I often here "I don't know how you do it!" I'm not always sure either, but I'm going to try to tell you about it!