School Among The Chaos

Tomorrow Clarkson Academy will be officially starting our next year.   My children are ready and excited.  We have some traditions that have become a part of launching our home school year.  We will get up early and dress a bit better than we usually do.  We will make signs to represent their hopes for the upcoming year and we will take pictures. We will have donuts for breakfast, because even though I swore our tradition was to have oatmeal, they assure me it was donuts. ;)

I have said before and it remains true, September feels more like the start of a New Year to me than January 1^st.  There is something so energizing about the start of a new school year.  For me there is a great thrill in new curriculum, fresh routines and rebooted attitudes towards learning.  There are also the brand new pencils, notebooks, folders, crayons, legal pads and planners.  I do so love office supplies!

My children have prepared themselves by carefully choosing new shoes and a few new clothes.  Some got haircuts, others choose not to.  They helped to plan their year by selecting subjects they are interested in and projects they want to try.  They are excited about some study aids that we have collected to help address our need to fidget and move while we work.  They are also excited about hand gel, for some reason. 

Each September as the new year begins I make resolutions for myself and for my family. Many of my resolutions are the same each year; I will plan meals and be a more organized cook, I will schedule our household cleaning so it isn’t overwhelming, I will spend more time preparing lessons, I will do more art projects and incorporate more music, we will argue less, I will go to bed early so each day I wake up early to get ready for our day.  Each year I have some new, specific resolutions that are personal to each of my children and their educational goals or personal growth.  I tackle these resolutions with the best of intentions and after much researching.  I make a lot of lists.   

Each year I want to start the year organized.  I want to have all of their supplies organized on their shelves, with their names printed on them as if we had more than one 5^th grader in the house.  I want to have their workspaces clean and peaceful so that they are motivated to work.  I want to have all of our supplies prepared, materials gathered and schedules perfectly timed out.  I want my day to look like the pictures I see on Pintrest!

This year is starting differently.  As I type this, the pieces of the planner that the kids will use are in a pile next to me.  I do not have them neatly assembled and ready for use. In all fairness, it is a neat pile.  This is an example of the new attitude I am working to have as we approach this year.  An attitude of acceptance. 

The truth is, life is not neat and simple in a house with 7 children.  We can plan meals, but things will come up and we will end up eating cereal or picking up Little Caesars pizza sometimes because we took extra time to explore a topic in school or go on an unexpected field trip.  Sometimes the house work and the laundry will get away from us and we will probably take a day off of school to get caught up again but we will also spend a Saturday at the museum or a Sunday learning all about a period in history.  Sometimes art and music will have to wait because our focus will have to be on math facts.  Arguments will happen because kids don’t always want to do what they are told and everyone has bad days.  Some nights I will choose to stay awake and spend time with my husband or do something for myself.  Lots of mornings I will be slow getting started because mornings are hard. 

The truth is that most days are not perfect.  We do school among the chaos and we do it well.

Are Home Schoolers Protected from Illness?

There is a lot of discussion and news coverage happening right now on the entervirus D68.  Unfortunately, flu season is also coming up rapidly. It is this time of year I often people make the assumption that home schoolers are safe and protected from illness.  People often say "I'm just gonna home school!" when they are concerned about the current super virus. As a home school mom I certainly wish we had the immunity that so many believe that we can achieve.

Now, to be fair, I do think that we get sick less often as home schoolers than we did when we attended public school.  The illnesses we get are not only fewer and father between but also less severe in most cases.  We are definitely exposed to fewer people and fewer germs and that is to our advantage.

That said, home school moms are not spared the worry that comes when these scary illness threaten our communities.  Home school kids don't really spend all of their time at home.  There are weeks when I have to be very intentional about being home to do our routine curriculum because there are so many neat opportunities out in the world to participate in.  Our herd participates in several Taekwondo classes a week, church, Sunday school, AWANA, Science Olympiad meetings and our much loved co-op each week.  Of course many of those events are attended by children who also attend public school.  Other home school friends of ours participate in much larger co-ops, day long enrichment programs or even college classes at our local colleges.  Not to mention the fact that we need to go to the grocer store, big box stores, and all the other big public school places just like everyone else.  Oh, and the daddy works out in public so we have that risk factor too. At the end of the week our exposure to illness may only be marginally less than people out there attending public school.

Along with the warnings about enterovirus D68 and the upcoming flu season in general come a lot of recommended precautions.  I'll let you look up the current recommendations yourself but the biggest ones are hand washing and staying home if your sick.  My worry for us and other home schooelrs is that we not start believing this myth.  I would hate to see home schoolers underestimate their exposure, choose not to take precautions seriously and falsely believe they are protected simply because society says that they must be.

I think many of my friends think I'm overly cautions, so please let me explain why that is.  In our household we have 8 people, soon to be 9, that potentially will come down with any illness that we would contract. Not only are there a whole lot of people to be sick, which means that we'll be out of commission for a long time, but several of my children have elevated risk factors in dealing with anything respiratory.  Then of course there are the parents to think about.  If the mama gets sick caring for the herd gets very complicated, not to mention the added risk of pregnancy right now.  If the daddy gets sick he cannot go to work and our income is negatively impacted.  I hope you'll understand if sometimes I fantasize about locking all our doors, digging a moat and hiding until Spring.

For now, our family will still be out there doing the things we care about but with some extra precautions.  We are all taking vitamins and using essential oils to boost our immune system.  We're drinking a little extra vitamin C because it can't hurt us.  We're getting extra rest, washing our hands and limiting physical contact with people.  We are carrying and using wipes for all public surfaces and hand gel when we can't wash with soap and water. There is a plan in place to leave any event we are at if we see a high population of sick people in attendance.  Of course we will stay home if we develop any symptoms that would make us a risk to others.  We hope all our peers will too.

My hope for this post is to shed some light on a home schooling myth and remind those of you who have taken the time to read this to maybe be a little extra cautious in your own circles.  Take care of yourselves and make prevention important to your household.  Stay healthy friends!

Put Your Behind in the Past

We have made it through our first week of home schooling for the 2014/2015 school year.  While there certainly was enough excitement about the launch of a new year, this was a surprisingly rough week some of us.  Mostly me.

Two of my children are suffering from reality.  The reality that sometimes work isn't easy.  That sometimes it feels tedious.  That attitude can get in your way when your trying to learn.  As their mom I hate that reality too.  One of the great privileges in home schooling is that in general you get to make topics exciting, teach to your students passions, strengths and change things up often to keep that spark of interest.  Unfortunately before you can be wild and free in your teaching style, you have to still teach the basics that are much less exciting.

One of my strugglers* has some significant challenges with multiplication and division.  We've played board games, downloaded more computer and iPad apps than I care to count, made tables and flash cards and it still is a struggle for this one.  I have reached the hard to acknowledge place where I know we have to do plain old drill and practice for part of our time to get those skills learned. Until there is a better understanding of these skills we are kind of stalled out.

The other of my strugglers* is a reluctant reader.  The assumption made by this child was that reading would be easy and effortless, which has sadly not been the case.  I'm not worried, to be honest, I believe that it will all fall into place in its time and we'll just have to muddle through until then. At the same time when you struggle to read its hard to do much of anything else in school because you have to be able to read to understand directions, read lessons and even really be an effective writer. That is hard for a student who wishes for independence.  It makes for lots of togetherness, even when neither of us really appreciate that extra time together.

These issues, among other life changes and challenges, have left me in more than a bit of a funk for the past week.  Then today had the nerve to be a Monday on top of it all and there just wasn't enough coffee anywhere.  I was wondering what business I thought I had teaching my kids, it was that bad.  I was able to keep going because today was also the day one of our clubs met and I knew I'd get some precious moments with other home school moms.  I was hopeful to find some encouragement and new energy among my poor, unsuspecting friends.  One friend made the mistake of standing still too long and I told her, just a little, of our challenges.  I used words like "behind" as I explained my students struggles and my frustration with my seeming inability to reach them.

My sweet friend then looked at me and said that in home schooling is that there is no 'behind'.  She reminded me that I had until they were in 12th grade to get them where they needed to be and if our path didn't look like every one else's, thats OK.  Beautiful words. True words.

Its hard when my background is in education and your teaching smart but very intense children not to fall into the habit of creating school at home.  I don't want to do school at home, I want to be free to follow a tangent, do creative projects that leave life long impressions on my kids, I want to love learning with my kids instead of dreading the battle.

So tomorrow, we'll spend some time working on those basic skills.  There will be some drill and practice. But then we will move on and do the fun projects, dig deep into subjects we are passionate about and take breaks to enjoy real life as it happens around us.

To my friend: Thank you for the gentle reminder of why we do this home school thing. - from all the students at Clarkson Academy, present and future, who are benifiting from your wisdom.

*Struggler is not meant as a permanent description or a derogatory term.  It simply means that at this time, in one area, this child is having a hard time.

Education Choices in the Mompetition

From the moment a woman becomes pregnant she becomes part of the Mompetition.  There is no way to opt out of it as strangers express their opinions on every aspect of childcare, no matter how personal.  If you choose to use disposable diapers expect to be challenged by mom’s who use cloth.  If you mention being exhausted because your little one was awake 3 times be prepared to hear another mom tell you about the 6 times she was up with her baby.  Its probably best if you just don’t discuss circumcision, breast-feeding or co-sleeping while out in public. It seems that no matter what choices you make those who have made different choices will feel challenged or threatened by your choice.

As our children grow, so does the Mompetition.  I personally find myself questioning everything I do and comparing myself to all the amazing mothers around me. Are we doing enough extra curricular? Do we do the right ones? What if we are doing too many? Are my kids getting enough time with their friends? Do they have enough chores without being asked to do too many?  I literally lay awake at night thinking about these things.  Without the ever present, unavoidable Mompetition, I’m fairly certain all of us mom’s would sleep better.

I chose to home school my children.  That has not always been my choice as we began home schooling mid year in 2011.  Like any choice a mom makes I encounter those who seem to feel challenged by my choices.  Sadly, many of my friends assume that I judge them negatively for their choice to send their kids to public or private schools. This is not at all the case.  I very much support public schools.  The majority of our children attend public school. These young men and women are our future so I absolutely want them to get the best possible education.  If you can send your child to a private school that better suits your child’s interest or your family’s values then I believe you should absolutely do that.  There is no one right way to educate our children.

The new school year starts for us tomorrow. This time of year feels much more like the ‘New Year’ than January 1^st, as we start fresh with new books, new lessons plans and brand new enthusiasm.  Home schooling is what is best for my family, for lots of reason’s I’ve already discussed here on this blog, but it is not the best choice for everyone.  If you happily anticipate this time of year when the big yellow bus comes to take your children off to school please know that I can appreciate that feeling and I do not judge you.  I am similarly anticipating the new discussions we will have, the subjects we can explore and the brand new box of crayons we will share.  I hope you do not judge me. 

No matter how you feed your baby, no matter what parenting theories you chose to practice and no matter how your family chooses to educate your children I know that your doing the best you know how for your children.  I am doing my best to withdraw from the Mompetition.  I know that you love your children more than life itself, that you agonize over every choice you make for them and believe with all your heart its what is the right thing for your family. We’re all different but in this way we are all the same. I hope we can still share our joys and our struggles.

Whether you are involved in year round schooling, have been at it for weeks, are just getting started or are well past formal education, I wish you the best in your adventures in learning.  

Technology Difficulties, Resolutions and Ground Hogs

At the start of the year we promised a blog sharing our New Years resolutions.  We didn't forget! But the post we wrote and set to auto publish itself didn't post and seems to have been lost in the World Wide Web.  Forgive us for dropping the ball (see what we did there!)

So, trying this again, here are our New Years Resolutions and a chance to learn a little bit about the students at Clarkson Academy:

Lucas, age 14:  This year I resolve to read 60 books by the end of the year.  I am doing this to see how many books I can read and to challenge myself to read more instead of watching TV.  I'm going to do this by skipping TV time and reading instead.  Another resolution I made was to get more exercise, like everyone else probably.  I want to be stronger so that I can do better in Taekwondo.  So far I am doing well with my resolutions but I need to be reading more because I need to read more than one book a week in order to meet my goal.

Abigail, age 12:  I'm going to exercise more by taking more Taekwondo classes.  I am doing this so that I can be stronger.  I am going to remember to do more stretching and Taekwondo practice at home. Another resolution I have is to master multiplication because that is hard for me.  I'm going to do that by practicing a lot.  I think I'm already getting better at multiplication and I think I am getting stronger.

Zachary, age 8:  One of my resolutions is to help with more house chores.  I am doing this because I want to help my family more and have more time for fun.  If I have more time for fun I'm going to play games like Pandemic. I think I'm doing more to help and my room is cleaner.

William, age 7:  My resolution is to learn to read so I don't always have to ask how to do stuff and so I can read all the good stories that are out there without waiting for someone to help me.   I am doing really well!  I have already mastered lots of sight words and learned to sound things out better.

Mom:  I am continually resolving to be more organized.  I'm continually failing at that resolution.  Life is ever hectic here and the amount of time it takes to feed, organize, dress, maintain and education 6 humans is all consuming.  So instead I am resolving to be more at peace with my chaos.  I resolve to care less if someone comes over and finds my house a mess.  I resolve to not get worked up when assignments do not get completed as quickly as I want.  I resolve to go on more field trips because those hands on experiences are so valuable.  I resolve that we will play lots more board games and go on more walks.  So far I can say I am doing my best and I getting there.

Yesterday the Ground Hog saw his shadow and predicted more weeks of winter.  We discussed the history of this tradition and celebrated the silliness in this.  If you have not ever looked into this fun little holiday, I recommend you do.   Its just fun.  Clarkson Academy is ready for more winter.

Happy New Year!!

When we first made the switch from public schools to homeschooling I felt that one thing I would loose was the excitement of snow days and school vacations.  What fun is it to get to stay home if your already there?  Who cares if your going back to school if its just down the stairs from where you eat breakfast?  It turns out that it still matters quite a bit.

Just like when we were in school the Clarkson Academy students and staff really enjoyed their Christmas break. Some of us slept in and some of us got up early to enjoy cartoons.  We had late breakfasts and snacked.  We baked. We played with our new Christmas toys and games.  We all read lots of books.   Our family celebrated one of the best Christmas's we've ever had and brought the New Year in with style.

Yet all good things must come to an end.  Our crew was more than ready to go back to school this morning.  The return of routine and purpose was welcome by all, but maybe mostly me.  Our first day back was nothing exciting but we got off to a good start and no one seemed to have forgotten all that much.  Its exciting to get a 'reboot' and start our lessons with a new energy.

One of our projects today was to put together some New Years resolutions.  The children have begun drafting a group blog post to be published on Wednesday of this week sharing their resolutions with you.  Do you have any resolutions?  Please feel free to comment here (comments are no longer restricted) or message them to us on our Clarkson Academy Facebook page.

                                                            Happy New Year!!

Am I Blogger Enough?

I haven't written a blog post in a long time.  My goal was to write regularly and share with you our life as home schoolers in our little home on Clarkson Drive.  I've fallen very short of my personal goal.  Which makes me feel guilty.  I'm a mother, I don't need more to feel guilty about.  So, please bear with me while I try to sort this out.

I think it takes a certain amount of ego to blog.  You have to believe that you have something to share that other people will want to read.  Whether you believe you are entertaining or that you can educate someone, some how if you blog you feel your thoughts are important enough to deserve other people's time and attention.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I follow several blogs and I DO feel the authors deserve my time and attention.  I've laughed, been deeply moved, become smarter and even a better person for the things others have taken the time to share in their blogs.  I feel the blogs I regularly read are worth my time and I visit new blogs nearly daily.  I love really do love sharing in people's worlds, even for a moment.

When it comes to MY blog I worry about every step.  I wonder if what I am thinking is complete enough to share, if other people will relate to it or if it will set me apart, if I can do the topic justice, if my editing will be complete enough or if I will reveal myself as a flawed teacher when I already feel scrutinized as a home schooling mother.  I wonder if anyone will read my blog at all and I would be wounded if no one did, even if I try to tell myself I write for myself.

On a good day I can tell you that what I'm doing is pretty good.  Sometimes even genius, for a moment.   I am planning my kids daily lessons, teaching them and they are learning.  We have fun.  We go places. We make things.  They are really, really, scary, smart kids.  Most days we have tough moments and I know that other families do too.  And like everyone else we learn from it.  We grow.  We also scream and cry and give up for a few hours.  I think sharing that reality is important too.

My day to day life doesn't typically seem very remarkable to me.  I don't usually believe I'm blog worthy.  But maybe I need to give myself some credit, allow myself some more pride.  I'm raising real people over here.  People who will lead and shape the world, in some small way at least.  And I realized today that I would love to get more infomration about how my friends go about their daily lives, I'd read their blogs.  So, I'm going to try really hard to stop doubting myself and put myself out there- for better or worse.

I often here "I don't know how you do it!" I'm not always sure either, but I'm going to try to tell you about it!

It Wasn't A Contest

In general it seems that our world has lost the ability to know what is appropriate to say and what isn't.  Strangers ask all sorts of inappropriate questions of about anyone but this becomes especially pronounced when you have children.  I used to believe this was a phenomenon reserved for pregnant women.  After all, the moment the world can tell your expecting people feel entitled to know when your baby is arriving, how much weight you've gained, how your going to feed it, and to what early college program your sending the new bundle of joy.  Having had 6 babies I thought I had heard it all.  Then I discovered that as the mama of a large family people continued to feel entitled to share their unsolicited thoughts and opinions.  They comment on the size of my family as if I were trailing around 60 kids instead of 6.  After time you do get used to the comments and have several come backs ready; 'Yes, they are all mine', 'Its busy but we enjoy our time', 'I'm glad its me and not you too, I love my children',  and my favorite, 'Yes, I know what causes it and obviously I'm a fan.'. 

Much has been written about the lack of social filter many people walk around with.  Its been done and done well.  My friends frequently send me articles, lists or stories that covers the topic of what people say to those of us with more than 2.5 children and what can be said in return, either in jest, in anger or in an attempt to educate others.  Recently a friend sent me this article: Big Families, What We Wish You Knew by Gretchen Knuffle.  Included in this collection of lists was the top 5 things mom's of big families wish other people knew.  Number one on the list says this "We are not supermoms and you don't have to apologize for only having two and then explain why.  It wasn't a contest." 

I keep coming back to that statement.  It wasn't a contest.  It still isn't.  Our lives are not in competition with another as if there is only so much satisfaction to be had and you have to hurry up and gather all the happy before someone else takes it.  This rule applies to where you live, what you drive, what our hobbies are and most of all how we create our families.  It also very much applies to home schooling. Sometimes I find myself on the side of defending my choice to home school to those who would never consider it and sometimes I find myself trying to reassure someone who sends their kids to school outside of the home.

Truly I do not judge anyone for the educational choices they make with their kids.  I have shared with you the reasons I have chosen to home school my children.  All of my home schooling friends came to the decision to home school by very different paths.  Some were home schooled as children and wanted the same for their own.  Others had horrible public school experiences and wanted to spare their children.  Many chose to do so because of religious reasons and a few choose to do so because of their geographic location.  I have a friend who also has a large family and home schools some of her kids and sends others to public school all based on what is best for her individual child.  It works beautifully for them. 

Of course I also have many friends who do not home school.  Most have never considered it and thought I was weird when I began this journey.  Probably a few still think I'm crazy.  Many of my friends do not live in an area where they would have the amazing support that I am able to take advantage of in my community.  A few of my friends would love to but they doubt their ability to make it successful.  Lots of my friends have to work to support their families and so cannot physically be present to make that choice.   And I know that some mama's (and daddies) really, really need that time when their kids are out of the house safe with other adults who care about them.  All of that is perfectly understandable as far as I'm concerned. 

So however you educate your babies, be proud.  We are always their parent and always their first teachers.  Every moment our kids are learning things.  I am thankful that I am able to be home with my kids and be their teacher, even on the really hard days.  I am thankful that I have a diverse group of friends who are all loving their babies the best they know how and doing a fantastic job helping those babies grow up to be real people.  No matter your choices, know that I support you because it really wasn't a contest and no one else is going to use up your happy.

The Intent to Home School (Why We Home School, the 5th and Final Part)

While my three eldest children were struggling as I have previously described we were also shuttling our outgoing 5 year old to preschool, caring for a precocious baby and expecting our unexpected (but so much wanted) 6th baby.  Did I mention that this was all happening in the first 4 months of moving to a new state and across the country from our family and most friends?

The stress of trying to keep everyone on track was taking a major toll on our household.  Our mornings started with arguments over assignments being returned to school and strict reminders about appropriate classroom behavior.  I spent my days sending and receiving emails from the kids teachers, trying to catch various school staff on the phone, attending meetings or finding ways to volunteer in the classroom so that I could try and get a handle on any of the kids drastically different situations.  When the children returned home at the end of day the battle began in earnest.  The first hurdle was making sure any work that needed to be done got home.  If it didn't there wasn't much I could do because the school made it clear they couldn't check with my kids to make sure it did, though at the same time it was made clear that if I supported them I would provide consequences if the didn't.  In L's case things had progressed so far that he had two sets of all of his books, one at school and one at home.  Incidentally, that didn't help at all.  IF the tools necessary to complete an assignment made it home we began the battle of getting work done.  Work that should have taken little time took hours at my house because of my children's attention deficits and the emotional turmoil attached to school, especially in Z's case.  Homework disrupted our family meals, pushed back bedtime and led to daily arguments. 

I fully admit that many nights I absolutely dropped the ball.  Fighting that hard for 3 kids and making everyone does everything every day just isn't possible.  The kids intuitively knew that.  I'm fairly certain that each day someone pulled one over on me with a creative story or excuse.  The truth is after a while  was just tired.  Tired of the fight with them, tired of the lies, tired of the judgment from teachers all while still trying to live  a normal life. 

One day when our family was brand new to Colorado I had gone for a walk and met a neighbor.  This woman, who would become a good friend, was outside of her home working on projects when I happened to be out walking.  I'm normally very chatty but on this afternoon I was incredibly lonely.  My new friend was gracious enough to take time out of her day to talk to me, not even knowing how much I needed it.  We began talking about pets but the conversation quickly turned to our families.  She told me about home schooling her children and a group they belonged to.  She was so passionate about what she was doing, her children were clearly thriving and she sounded truly satisfied with that choice.  I left her house with my head swimming with 'What if's' and 'I wish I could' but I had never truly considered that it was a possibility for us until I was backed into a corner.

Amazingly the struggles that L and A were having had been accepted as normal for me.  Even the lack of support and the ridiculous expectations that the school held for me, the parent, didn't give me pause to consider that it was not acceptable.  But the extreme bullying, at the hands of adults no less, that Z was experiencing was more than I could take.  The mama bear in me was ready to do anything and everything to protect him.  When I pulled Z from school and STILL couldn't get anyone to work with me or to help him I began to think seriously about the conversation I had with my neighbor months before.  

Still I worried about what other people would think, especially my mother who was a dedicated public school teacher.  I worried I couldn't do it, that even with a teaching degree from a teaching college I wouldn't be able to instruct my own children.  It was my mother who first brought up the subject and asked if I had considered it.  My husband supported it fully.  In fact friends and family all expressed great confidence in my ability to teach Z at home.  I began to think I could do it, and I was already staying at home with our littlest kids so no income would be lost.

The thoughts of homeschooling began with Z in mind, but it was no stretch to include L and A once I was committed to doing it.  They were all very enthusiastic about homeschooling.  In a relatively short amount of time we invested in an old used table that we set up in the basement and some basic supplies from the local education store. I sent a letter of intent to our local district, spoke to the administrators at the children's schools and I submitted my application to join a co-op of other home school families.  After years of struggle in the public schools we had made a huge leap into a new and exciting type of education.

Saving a Love of Learning (Why We Home School part 4)

After watching his older siblings head off to school, my third baby Z was over the moon when it was his turn to go to Kindergarten.  He was so excited that he was ready to go an hour before I planned to wake up! Once at school, he wove through the crowds ahead of me while I struggled to lug the extra bag full of extra school supplies, Kleenex boxes, disinfectant wipes and sandwich bags. I snapped a couple pictures before leaving Z happily in his desk with the rest of his class.

I was first aware that there was a problem when Z would come home from school telling me he was in trouble and had to miss play time. My assumption was that he was facing some of the same issues his older siblings had.  I talked with him every night and every morning about being on his best behavior.  The reports just kept coming home and when I asked Z what he was doing to lose his privileges he seemed legitimately confused.  When I addressed his teacher I learned that she expected all 28 of her students to work at the same pace.  If a student finished early they were expected to wait.  Z was getting in trouble during that wait time for doing things like working ahead, rolling his pencil across the desk or whispering to a friend. 

Years of being an advocate for my eldest two children didn't prepare me for working with Z's teacher.  I respectfully told her that taking away his free time for such minor offenses and singling him out was not acceptable to me.  I asked her to keep a note book and to find alternative consequences for behavior she had an issue with.  Months of reading this notebook made me realize that my son was not the problem.  Her complaints included him taping his fingers on his leg while she read a story or drawing on his papers while she was making him wait to continue a lesson.  Through all of this Z still felt his teacher was the most amazing, special woman on the planet.  Her rejection was destroying him.

Other parents started sharing their concerns with me.  They saw my son being singled out by the teacher and disagreed with her harsh treatment of him.  The other students also noticed that Z was being treated differently by the teacher.  Z became the victim of some very extreme bullying.  Students would take his things, ruin his work and called him names.  The would push and shove him and when he pushed back his teacher made sure he went to the office.  One afternoon 6 students waited outside the school for Z when he went out for recess and they beat him to the ground.  Z was sent to the principal's office for fighting, even though he couldn't even defend himself due to how quickly it happened.  The school never told me about it, I heard about it from another parent.  The school didn't help my son, they didn't punish the children who did this but they sure had taught Z that he wasn't worth protecting.  Z didn't even tell me what was happening any more because he, at 6, thought it would only get worse.

As I mentioned in previous posts, our move to Colorado was an exciting fresh start.  In spite of the horrible experiences Z had in Kindergarten he was thrilled to start 1st grade.  I started out being brutally honest with this teacher about Z's experience the previous year.  My hope was that his new teacher would work with me to correct any bad habits, help him make friends and get on the same page as our new school district.  Instead Z was singled out again by the teacher.  I believe he was really nervous and did tune out what was happening in class.  I want to be honest and say that by this time his behavior with other children was not always appropriate.  He expected kids to get physical with him so he tried to beat them to it.  Once again he was always in trouble and he started to struggle with his friends.  I spent hours trying to find a way to help Z and attempting to work with his teacher.

Shortly after Christmas we learned that things were far worse at school for Z than we knew. He was spending between 2 and 4 hours each day crying and refusing to work. The school principal, social worker and other teachers were involved.  No one had ever called us.  We had no idea this was happening.  I pulled Z out of school pending a meeting with the principal yet even when I went to the next highest authority no one at the school would meet with us.  I begged them to work with me before they completely destroyed my son and taught him to hate learning.  We never did get that meeting.

While Z was home I worked with him on the things he needed to catch up on in math and reading.  Z told me how scared he was at school and that he didn't want to go back. Spending this extra time with Z let me see how much school had changed my boy's personality. We struggled to deal with the fact that not only was my son bullied by his peers, he was bullied by the adults that were supposed to protect him.  It was more than time to consider other options.

To Be Continued...

Building a Bridge (Why We Home School Part 3)

While we worked with teachers, social workers and administrators to get L on the right path we couldn't get anyone to listen to our concerns about A.  Everything about L's struggles were big, loud and obvious beginning as soon as kindergarten.  Our concern's with A seemed to fall on deaf ears.   

While A struggled a bit in her first couple years in school we didn't become very concerned until 2nd grade.  She seemed to be spending most of her day off in her own little world without a care.  She didn't complete in class activities with her classmates often bringing home work that should have been done at school.  Homework would take her hours even though it was intended to take less than 20 minutes.  She was doing average work at best on tests, even though we had good reason to believe she could do better.  Often her test scores were truly bad.  She honestly seemed not to know what was going on much of the day. 

It felt odd to fight to get her tested and beg for someone to help her after having so much help foisted upon us when L was struggling in school.  But L's behavior disrupted other students and was impossible to ignore.  A sat quietly in her desk drawing pictures on the edges of her papers and often humming to herself.  Teachers would acknowledge that she was not engaged in class but would assure me that they were sure she was really trying her best as they told me in undertones that she was just so cute! They were selling my daughter short and it was so frustrating!  A did not qualify for special services but she was not learning either.

At one routine doctor's visit my desperation and A's flighty conversation pattern convinced our family doctor to go ahead with some testing in spite of the school.  A tested positive for extreme ADHD. When people hear of that diagnosis they tend to think of a little boy who can't sit still and can't behave.  A does not have the hyperactive tenancies that are viewed as hallmark in this disorder which is why the school was so hesitant to address her problem. 

Once again I had high hopes that a move to a new state, new school district, would give us a fresh start.  I was sure if I brought in the letters from doctors and expalined about our journey from the begining then everyone would work with me and wish for her to suceed.  Unfortunately my darling A is very bright and was able to coast through school in spite of her inattentiveness. She was still spending all her time in another world and I was trying to find a way to reach her there.  Her teachers felt I was over reacting and they dismissed my increasing concerns.  I wavered between feeling I was being too hard on her and feeling like I was letting her get away with laziness.

I have since learned that the way A behaves is very typical in girls with ADHD and that those girls are frequently over looked because they are not disruptive or seemingly off task. In addition to this A seems to struggle a bit with reading people and knowing how to interact with others socially.  There are no concrete examples but she frequently does exactly the opposite of what I would chose to do if I were attempting to make a good impression.  This is something I am still exploring and learning about in an effort to help her.  The reason to mention this is that in school her already stretched attention span was stretched even farther as she attempted to find ways to fit in.

As we neared the mid point of her 4th grade year I was feeling very much at the end of my rope.  Report cards came back with some disturbing marks for A and her conferences indicated her test scores were showing a backslide in her language arts and math skills.  I was working with her every evening for hours to get through what should have been half an hour of home work but she acted as if she had missed the instruction.  Still I was treated as if I was over involved and overly concerned and yet I felt as if I wasn't doing enough for her.

To be continued...

The Fight for my First Baby (Why We Home School, Part 2)

Before I continue, let me give you a little more background about me. My parents are hard working, dedicated, fantastic, public school teachers. I attended public school for my entire primary and secondary education.  I then went on to attend a community college before moving on to a four year university.  I hold degrees in social work and elementary education.  Clearly I am not predisposed to dislike, disrespect or bow out of the public school system. 

We began home schooling the year that we also moved across the country and away from family.  My husband had lost his job after 9 years with the company because the business was failing. He spent months searching for a job in our home state without much luck when a phone interview led to a job in a city we'd fallen in love with a year before.  So, our family packed up and headed out west.  The plan was that I would work, at least part time, while the kids were in school or daycare.  That all changed when we found out that baby C was on the way.  There was no way we could afford childcare for three kids so I found myself a stay at home mama for the first time. This is important later when the tough choices had to be made.

I tell people that the year we chose to home school I had three kids enrolled in public school and I had three different reasons make that choice.  L was 12 and in 6th grade.  Middle school.  I was excited for him because he was getting a fresh start.  School had always been hard for him.  L is incredibly smart and loved learning.  He did NOT love being told what to do, specifically being given assignments.  From kindergarten we struggled to get him to complete his work both in class and at home.  When I say we I do really mean we because I was in there from the beginning working with the school.  To make a 7 year story shorter he would tell us, his parents, that he had no assignments while telling his teachers that he had done it but left it at home.  L would do anything for a laugh and it was always inappropriate.  He was impulsive and a distraction to the class.  Truthfully, he was board and was finding ways to entertain himself.  At the advice of the school we enrolled him in special social skills classes, had him tested for half a dozen different disorders and put him on several different medications.

As he got older his stories got more elaborate and harder to spot for the lies that they were.  This would continue until he had made a huge mess and he would get caught with a truly overwhelming amount of work to catch up on if he wanted to avoid serious consequences.  My deepest hope was that a fresh start in a new state would break this pattern but nothing changed at all.  I was horribly disappointed because the effects on our family were truly aweful.  Our whole family would suffer as we worked with him to get caught up.  We'd loose our evenings together, our weekends, time at work while we met with teachers and worst of all our peace.  We fought with L from the time he got up to get ready to school until he went to bed, usually much later than planned.  I spent all day while he was at school talking with his teachers and social workers about the work he should have had, the work he did have and the work he would be bringing home.  Then I had to hope and pray the work would get home.  The school told me that they couldn't help him get his stuff packed at the end of the day to ensure he had what he needed.  The consequences we could provide at home didn't really matter because he still spent the day with his friends and he never missed out on the fun things that he loved at school such as band, elective classes or recess.  The school simply didn't have the staff to support the consequences that would have been effective for L so this terrible cycle continued and there was no end in sight. 

Continued...

Our Time in Public School (Why We Home School, Part 1)

When I started out my adult life I never imagined I'd be the proud mother of six amazing, complicated and diverse little people.  I also certainly never imagined that I would be a home schooling mama!

My oldest, L, is now 13 but many years ago I bought him shiny new shoes and a fancy back pack that we then filled with brand new crayons, paper and folders.  I proudly brought him to school on the first day where he was so excited he could hardly stand it and I was surprised to find myself fighting back tears as I saw how grown up he was.  Similarly I took two more of my babies, A & Z, for that momentous first day of school.  My kids went to a regular public school and sometimes they even rode the bus.  They ate school lunch when they couldn't convince me to pack one for them.  I attended parent-teacher conferences, music concerts, school plays, science fairs and PTA meetings (OK, only one of those).  I got phone calls from teachers about concerning behavior and worked with the school to teach and improve offensive behavior.  I helped my kids with homework, made dozens and dozens of little paper Valentine's with my kids and brought treats for their birthdays.  My kids made good friends and persistent opponents.  There were wonderful moments and nightmare situations as our family had a very complete public school experience.  L attended public school until 6th grade, A until 4th grade and Z until 1st grade.  It was midway through that year that for three very separate reasons we decided we needed to try something else and give home schooling a try.

To be continued...

Welcome!

My name is Sara and I'm a fairly new home schooling mama.  Our family started home schooling in January of 2012 for complex reasons I will explain in another post.  In short it was unexpected but we are loving it.  So far the biggest lesson I have learned is that there is no 'right' way to do it as long as your doing the best you can.

People ask me all the time how I do it, though I'm not always sure if they actually want an answer. For those who do want to know, I am creating this blog to better share with family, friends and even strangers what we do on this crazy adventure in home schooling and parenting.

This is us, affectionately called the herd:

Thanks for stopping by and we hope you'll come back to visit us as we grow!!